{Bitter}Sweet September

September...the month when we begin to feel like Summer will finally end! September...back to school is everywhere.  September...football, football, FOOTBALL! September...It's a month I love and and the month that hurts...still.  Remembering is what we do.  We recall information all the time.  Our brains are amazing that way.  We even remember crazy details, like what we wore or what we ate :)

20 years ago--the cutest, coolest guy asked me out...and by the way...he's still the one! (white shirt, denim skirt, at the JCJC vs PRC game)

12 years ago...we moved out of Seminary housing at SWBTS to A-1!!...and moved away from some of the best friends we had ever known. (miss you Smiths!!)

11 years ago...our nation was attacked in a way it had never been before...and we will never be the same. (I was getting dressed for Ladies Bible study when my mom called me)

11 years ago...our sweet second baby left my warm safe womb and flew into the loving arms of  Jesus to wait for our arrival. (13 weeks, amazingly loving Dr and friends...hurt I'd never known)

10 years ago...I was carrying my sweet, Chloe--not too far from delivery--and loving my Mom through Hepatitis C. (Kathy S remembered it had only been one year to the date of my miscarriage and gave me the sweetest card--completely unexpected on my part)

6 years ago...I sat in my Doctor's office content with the place I was in life and accepting that 2 children would be sufficient...I was wrong! :)  SURPRISE! (what would we do without Sweet T?)

5 years ago...God led an awesome couple to FBC Muenster to shepherd that church and shortly after, we followed and have benefited in amazing ways!

4 years ago...I began leading Ladies Bible studies in that same church and continued to share my love for the WORD!

3 years ago...our family journeyed (kicking and screaming on my part) into a whole new domain...HOMESCHOOLING.

1 year ago...I traveled to the home I grew up in to help pack things away as my parents were moving...I walked that drive and listened to 'those' crickets the last time. (too many memories for one post....)

This September as I remember all the good and all the hurt that this month reminds me of, I know one thing has been and still is constant...My God Is Faithful.  He has healed the hurts...or is still healing them. He has filled the voids and multiplied my joy.  A mama's heart never forgets...but it can come to the place that it gives thanks amidst the tears.  Our minds remember, but when our hearts were involved in the experiences, we hold them closer and remember them more deeply...and that's ok.

I'm loving this September....

 25  I will restore to you the years
that the swarming locust has eaten,...
26  "You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
and praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has dealt wondrously with you.
And my people shall never again be put to shame.27  You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel,
and that I am the Lord your God and there is none else.
And my people shall never again be put to shame. 

Joel  2:25-27

***ADDENDUM*** and pondering today... 4 years later in 2016... how this was written two years prior to another very hard September.  The A-1 Dispersal was September.   I know God has a special September in our futures one day... because of the Joel passage above.  ♥

God Speaking...

Once again I trudged myself to the driveway and out on my morning walk/run.  No big results as of yet, and many, many obstacles try to keep me from the thing I desire most...knowing that I did what I needed to, no matter the 'results.'  The gift thus far is my quiet, worshipful time of watching the sun rise.  It's made my 'burden-bearing' much more meaningful... Quiet time to talk and listen and lift up those I love...the ones He keeps laying on my heart♥.  He's busy...Speaking.  This morning Mandisa helped remind me...

 

 Jesus is truly our burden-bearer....

 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30 

But as brothers and sisters in Him, we are called to bear the burdens of others.  Truly a comfort to me to know that others are with me when my burdens are heavy.  Truly a gift to know that I, in some small way, can be with one who bears a heavy, heavy burden.

2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ....9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Galatians 6:2,9-10

He's still there...

A few revelations/remembrances from my walk this morning...

Walking along the gravel road prior to sunrise, Darlene Zschech and Hillsong filling my ears with inspiration of wonder, I ponder many things. The beauty of this earth being one. The realization that it's nothing compared to the beauty of God's presence.  Eternity will be more than our human eyes can behold....

Upon my return I glance over my shoulder to see the sun peeking just above the eastern horizon.  It's streaked with dark blue-gray clouds...absolutely glorious!!  I turn and walk more, making my way back home.  As I turn look again, the sun, now fading into the clouds as it continues to rise, I realize that the clouds will likely overtake it's bright light and a sunshiny day won't likely be our lot.  Whether or not I can still see the sun, it's still there in the sky...I saw it come up, I see it's rays coming down from the clouds.

Isn't that so much like our lives?  Some days begin and end with our seeing God's hand of providence EVERYWHERE we turn. And some days we don't see Him at all. That doesn't mean He isn't there.  Clouds of discouragement, disappointment, grief may cloud our view, but He is still there. There may be small evidences of Him, rays shining through the clouds, but seeing Him may be difficult.  He's still there.  We may have days where He shines like the summer sun and KNOW He's there... cause He IS still there.  No matter what our view, nothing changes the fact the He is still there.  Just like the sun on a cloudy day, it's still there.  One of my favorite experiences is to fly on rainy days.  We leave the airstrip with dark clouds and rain everywhere, but as we rise into the sky and break through those clouds...SUN, glorious blinding sunlight meets us.  It was there all along.  God gave us the sun for many reasons, seasons to grow things we need, warmth, gravitational pull on our planet, the list goes on...Maybe one more is to remind us of His greatness and His ever presence.  Our  view doesn't change His location.  He's still there.

1.The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.2 Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.3 They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard. 4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.
God has made a home in the heavens for the sun. 

Psalm 19:1-4

Life lost...almost.

My sweet man, O had a rough day. But a real day in the life of agriculture is ever full of lessons.  His BEST ET bull calf was found bloated today...he had stopped breathing just prior to the boys' intervention.  Thankfully he appears as though he's gonna be fine.  SO thankful.  Life lost...almost. But God in His mercy intervened on O's behalf. ♥

Gentle reminder...Matthew 10:28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body...."  HE is the true giver and sustainer of life. ♥

No blog in June...here's why!!

Busy month...I thought summer had down time...NOT this summer....

1. We had a birthday boy and a Mario Kart party!! Truett is five!!
2. We had a dance recital.
3. CJ got a haircut!!!
4. O & C had Grand Champion Female at TX Red Angus Field Day in Huntsville, TX.
5. We celebrated Dad's day!
6. We traveled to Hutchinson, KS for the North American Jr Red Angus Event...and won big ;)
7. Owen went to Glorieta, NM for Fuge camp (I have a youth camper!!)
8. We had family pictures done. {will post when I get them... so 'cited!!!}
9. CJ started first stage of braces.
10. CJ had Mini Cheer Camp.
11. Oh and a piano recital...late May.
Whew!! Bring on July!!

Attitude adjustments

After reading Ann's blog tonight, we have a new assignment starting tomorrow morning.

looks like he"s here to stay

 About a month ago, we had a visitor.  A new puppy showed up at the barn. Having no idea where he'd come from we kinda ignored him hoping he'd go back wherever 'home' was.  I wasn't in favor of another dog as Lou, our 8 year old 'baby girl' was plenty for me.  My heart was full...until, well, he's so cute, and hungry, and not taken care of, and ... you get the idea.  We 'let' him hang out at our house while we decided his fate.  He got a bath and MANY ticks removed, and some meds, and then a collar, and a name...Hank the cowdog has finally found his HOME here on the ranch.  He's a precious little pup for my sweet baby boy who needs a good companion.  Hopefully he'll be a friend to T like Lou was for O.